There are somethings in his past which are bothering me. You name three things about your man that you are concerned about: There is always a chance he will go back on drugs. There is a self-destructive element to both that is not healthy, but there is real intense stimulation to be had in both cases. Am I over reacting? He said for her safety. I believe I could be wrong these relationships to be mentally abusive.
There is always a chance he will go back on drugs. People tend to regress backwards towards earlier sometimes more self- and other-destructive modes of coping during times of stress. I am a separated 40 year old female with a 14 year old daughter. I can tell you my opinions about the flags you have raised. Then again, he may be able to act in new and more mature ways, particularly if support is available to him. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician. I believe I could be wrong these relationships to be mentally abusive. What you can know is how disturbing you find the images of that previous relationship to be in your own mind. I feel confident that if you were to peel back the history of the women your boyfriend was married to, that you would find substantial abuse there. Hard questions really, and, as I seem to have misplaced my crystal ball, I cannot predict the future for you today. There are somethings in his past which are bothering me. Pain is thrilling in the same way that drugs are thrilling. Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual s. The online relationship has blossomed into a real life relationship and he has recently relocated to live with his parents while getting back on his feet. I say perhaps those women need some therapy to find some self esteem and self worth. We get along very well and have many common interests. Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Pain is a signal our body sends us when we are damaged; it is not something that average people learn to seek out as a sexual thrill unless the alarming aspects of this powerful signal have been previously muddled together with pleasure during childhood. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only. Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. You name three things about your man that you are concerned about: I met a 35 year old man online who is also separated from his spouse. He had to declare bankruptcy because of his drug usage and has that on his record. He said for her safety. It is also difficult to change. No correspondence takes place.
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